Have you ever get that opinion that you ’ve finally get ? It seems like for my whole life , I ’ve been working toward something . In eminent school day , I dreamed of the college I ’d go to . In college , I dreamed about my life history and the place I ’d travel and survive . As I enter the real human beings , I worked my way up the ladder , look forward to meeting the mortal I ’d marry and wondered what kind of family we ’d raise . I even cultivate this minuscule dream about planting a garden and growing my own solid food .
Sincemoving to our farm , a circumstances of change happened very quickly , and many of the things I ’d spend so much time dreaming about became reality . Mr. B and I plan our wedding in the midst of packing up our life for the country , and not long after we tied the mi , we learned we ’d be get a tiny human being into the humans . Now , it seems like we have it all : an awe-inspiring piece of body politic , a partner in each other that we love and corporate trust , and a daughter that make our family three . We have arrive .
After spend so much time dream and planning , it ’s an odd flavor to be in a place of getting to endure out the thing that you so anticipated . The excitement and wonder of the what’s - to - come has diminished , and now , I ’m settling into this reasonably uncomfortable , somewhat satisfying country of justbeing . It ’s weird , it ’s new , and I often have to remind myself that I no longer have to position myself for future moves , whether in the metaphorical or literal sense . That ’s why myword of the year ( a tradition I started last twelvemonth ) is “ front . ”
Through the recitation of mien in 2018 , I think to more fully explore what liveliness as a farmer , a wife and a female parent means . The planner in me does n’t know how to go about this . I require to make a roadmap , determined goals , make lists . The nostalgic in me yearns for certain way of life from which I ’ve moved . But embracing presence means to tease apart my grip on both of these things . It means not looking forward or looking back but truly relish the bit .
Spiritual leader and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh put it most simply when he said,“Your dead on target home base is in the here and the now . ”
I must admit , I ’ve had a hard clip allowing myself to settle into our new home and way of life . I ’ve almost become addicted to all the change that Mr. B and I have undergo in the past 18 month , and I find myself constantly searching for a new project . Other prison term I find myself wishing we could skip the dirty , sweaty cognitive operation that go into some of the thing we ’re working on and leap out immediately to the end resultant . But that ’s not what agriculture and homesteading is all about , is it ?
People gravitate to this lifestyle because they can really concentrate on dig out in and putting down root word . It ’s the perfect farm metaphor , really . When train plants , it ’s sometimes tempt to chink off easy task that exact to give you the death result you want : sum a piddling synthetic fertilizer , spray some insecticides , till up the weeds . mayhap the first crop is fulfill , but over time , your soil becomes weaker and weaker to the point where you ’re putting all this time and money into making a crop grow that is n’t all that healthy anyway . But if you take your time to build up up the soil — adding organic issue , using companion industrial plant to deter pestis and growing cover harvest to add nutrients — you grow a stronger , healthier , more live crop .
The same goes with liveliness .
Being in the here and now — rehearse presence — can be hard . It often takes more time . However , participating in the small , daylight - to - day activities , even if they are n’t the most light or rich , helps progress the joy that gain for a secure , tidy life . broil a loaf of bread ofhomemade breadinstead of buy one Lashkar-e-Toiba you palpate that clams between your fingers as you knead it and take a breather in its aroma as it bakes . make a garden allows you to notice the affectionateness of sunlight on your back and the texture of plants you ’re cultivate with . Taking the time to dally with your baby instead of worrying about dirty dishes and toys strew about the floor , this lets you feel that butterfly - inducing happiness of bask in her big , toothless grin .
Having presence by all odds is n’t something that comes naturally to me . While I ’m indisputable there will be plenty around the farm this yr to put the list - making planner part of my brain at easiness , I look onward to what I ’ll witness in the everyday moments of farm lifetime .
